Collaborative Problem Solving: An Effective Approach to Behavioral Challenges and Relationship Growth
Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) is an evidence-based approach that changes how we understand and respond to challenging behaviours in children, teens, and even adults. Developed by clinical psychologist Dr. Ross Greene, CPS moves beyond traditional discipline or control-based strategies. Instead, it focuses on curiosity, collaboration, and building skills that help people solve problems together.
What Collaborative Problem Solving Is
At its core, CPS is a framework for working with someone, rather than doing to them. The approach helps identify what’s behind difficult behavior and involves all parties in finding solutions that everyone can agree on.
CPS rests on three foundational steps:
Identify the Problem: Define the specific unsolved problem that’s causing difficulty. This means looking at clear, observable situations rather than vague characterizations like “defiant” or “unmotivated.”
Understand the Problem: Explore why the problem is happening. This involves listening to each person’s concerns and identifying potential skill gaps such as difficulty with flexibility, frustration tolerance, or emotional regulation.
Solve the Problem Together: Collaborate to find realistic, mutually satisfactory solutions that meet the needs of everyone involved.
This process builds connection, communication, and trust. while helping people develop the very skills they may have been struggling to use in the first place.
The Psychology Behind CPS
Dr. Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child and Lost at School, developed the CPS model after decades of working with children and families struggling with emotional and behavioral challenges. His research highlighted a key insight: children do well when they can, not simply when they want to.
Challenging behaviour isn’t usually driven by defiance or poor motivation. More often, it reflects lagging cognitive or emotional skills, such as trouble shifting gears, managing frustration, or thinking through problems.
From this lens, traditional discipline approaches that rely on punishment or reward may miss the mark. They can temporarily suppress behaviour but often fail to address the underlying need or skill deficit. CPS, on the other hand, helps children and adults build those missing skills through guided collaboration.
Why CPS Works
It builds empathy and understanding.
By starting with curiosity about why a behaviour occurs, CPS replaces blame with connection. This approach helps both sides feel heard and understood, reducing tension and defensiveness.
It fosters ownership and cooperation.
When individuals are part of the problem-solving process, they’re more invested in the solution. They begin to take ownership of their role and choices rather than reacting to imposed consequences.
It strengthens executive functioning and coping skills.
CPS directly targets skill development in areas such as flexibility, emotional regulation, and perspective-taking; all essential to healthy relationships and self-management.
It reduces conflict and power struggles.
Collaborative dialogue transforms conflict into a shared challenge rather than a battle of control. Over time, this approach decreases the emotional intensity and improves communication patterns across relationships.
Beyond Behavior: The Broader Applications of CPS
Although CPS was first designed for parents and educators supporting children with behavioral challenges, its principles extend far beyond childhood. The same model can help:
Parents and children navigate recurring struggles with respect and empathy
Couples move through conflict and understand emotional triggers without blame
Teams and workplaces improve communication and problem-solving
Educators create supportive, skill-focused learning environments
When applied consistently, CPS fosters a culture of understanding and collaboration; at home, at work, and in any relationship where emotions run high.
How to Begin Using CPS
Starting small is key. Identify one recurring challenge and approach it with curiosity rather than correction. Try asking:
“What’s been hard about this for you?”
“What do you think would make this easier?”
“How can we solve this together so it works for both of us?”
Shifting from control to collaboration takes practice, but it can transform the emotional climate of a home or relationship.
Final Thoughts
Collaborative Problem Solving is more than a behaviour-management tool. It’s a mindset that honors empathy, mutual respect, and growth. By focusing on why a problem is happening and how to solve it together, families, couples, and teams can replace tension with teamwork, and build relationships that thrive under pressure.
At Core Psychology, we integrate CPS principles into our work with children, teens, and adults to help strengthen communication and reduce conflict.
📍 Core Psychology | Calgary | Marda Loop
📧 admin@corepsychology.com
📞 403-488-8912
References and Resources
Greene, R. W. (2008). The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children. HarperCollins.
Greene, R. W. (2010). Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges Are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them. Scribner.
Greene, R. W., Ablon, J. S., & Goring, J. C. (2014). A Randomized Controlled Trial of Collaborative Problem Solving vs. Parent Training for the Treatment of Oppositional Youth. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 82(5), 897–908.
Lives in the Balance. (2024). Collaborative Problem Solving Resources and Training. https://www.livesinthebalance.org
American Psychological Association. (2023). Evidence-Based Interventions for Emotional and Behavioral Disorders in Youth. https://www.apa.org
