Grief Doesn’t Always Look Like Sadness
If you’re reading this, there’s probably someone or something you miss. Grief can be love with nowhere to go, and it doesn’t always show up as tears.
Some days you might feel flat, foggy, or restless. Other days you’re snappy with the people you care about. You may be sleeping more, or hardly at all. You might feel anxious, overdo it at work, or scroll late into the night just to avoid thinking. None of this means you’re “doing it wrong.” It means you’re human.
What Grief Can Feel Like (Beyond Sadness)
Exhaustion or numbness
Your system is doing hard work beneath the surface.
Irritability or anger
A natural response when life no longer fits how it used to.
Anxiety or overwhelm
Loss shakes certainty; the nervous system looks for safety.
Forgetfulness, fog, distraction
Your brain is processing a lot—concentration dips.
Body signals
Tight chest, headaches, heavy limbs, changes in appetite or sleep.
“I should be over this” thoughts
There’s no timeline. Grief is not linear.
Why It Shows Up This Way
Grief is a full-body experience. When we lose someone or something important, our nervous system (think: threat/safety detector) works overtime to help us cope. That can look like hyper-alertness, shutting down, or swinging between the two. Understanding this can replace self-judgment with compassion.
What Helps (Small Things Count)
Name it
“This is grief.” Simple, honest naming lowers the internal fight.
Breathe + ground
Feel your feet on the floor, take 4 slow breaths, look for 5 things you can see.
Rituals of connection
Light a candle, play their song, visit a place that holds meaning.
Gentle structure
Anchor your day with one nourishing habit—walk, shower, stretch, eat something warm.
Write it down
Try prompts like What do I miss today? What would I say if they were here?
People help
Text a friend, join a group, or book a session. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Supporting Someone Who’s Grieving
Say the real thing: “I’m thinking of you and I’m here.”
Offer specific help: “I can drop dinner Tuesday” beats “Let me know if you need anything.”
Follow their lead: Some want to talk. Some want quiet company. Both are okay.
Remember later: Grief often swells after the first few weeks. Check in again.
When to Reach Out
If grief feels stuck, isolating, or unmanageable
If sleep, work, school, or relationships are suffering
Therapy can help you make sense of the waves and find steadier ground. If you ever feel unsafe or in crisis, please seek immediate support through local emergency services or crisis lines.
How We Can Help at Core Psychology
At Core Psychology (Marda Loop, Calgary), we offer compassionate, evidence-based support for grief and loss—both recent and long-ago. Our clinicians provide a warm, non-judgmental space to process complex feelings (including anger, guilt, relief, or numbness), rebuild routines, and reconnect with meaning.
Our team integrates a trauma-informed, strength-based approach (and may incorporate EMDR where appropriate) to help you navigate grief’s many faces—especially when anxiety, overwhelm, or past trauma are part of the picture.
In-person in Calgary + virtual across Alberta.
Call/text 403-488-8912 or email info@corepsychology.com to book.
FAQs (Because Grief Raises Big Questions)
How long does grief last?
There’s no universal timeline. Most people notice shifts over months, with waves that come and go. Anniversaries and milestones can stir feelings again—that’s normal.
Is it normal to feel anger or nothing at all?
Yes. Anger, irritability, and numbness are common. Your system is protecting you while it recalibrates.
What if our relationship was complicated?
Mixed feelings—sadness, relief, guilt—are part of many grief stories. Therapy offers space to hold the whole truth with compassion.
Can teens grieve differently?
Often. Irritability, changes in sleep/school, or “I’m fine” can be grief in disguise. A gentle, consistent approach helps.
For more Info
Grief & Loss Counselling in Calgary
Celeste Tio, specializing in grief and loss
