When the Game Doesn’t Go Well: Helping Teen Athletes Who Shut Down
You’ve seen it. One bad play, one missed shot, one tough game—and your teen shuts down. Their shoulders slump, they go quiet in the car ride home, or they snap back when you try to talk about it. Sometimes it’s tears. Sometimes it’s silence. Sometimes it’s a wall you can’t get through.
As a parent, it’s hard not to take that shutdown personally. But what you’re seeing isn’t defiance. It’s hurt. It’s overwhelm. It’s their nervous system doing the only thing it knows how to do in that moment: protect.
Why do some athletes shut down after a tough game?
For many teen athletes, performance is personal. Not just because they want to do well, but because somewhere along the way, doing well started to feel tied to their worth.
So when the game doesn’t go well, their self-talk might sound like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“I let everyone down.”
“Why do I even bother?”
“I’ll never be as good as them.”
This isn’t about the game anymore. It’s about identity. About shame. About fear.
And here’s the hard truth: the more they care, the harder it can hit.
The shutdown isn’t the problem—it’s a signal.
When a teen athlete shuts down, it’s not a character flaw. It’s a coping strategy. Their system gets overwhelmed, and instead of lashing out, they go inward.
But over time, this can create a cycle: Performance doesn’t go well → Emotions flood in → Athlete shuts down → Confidence erodes → Pressure builds → Performance suffers.
Our job as the adults in their corner isn’t to snap them out of it. It’s to create a space safe enough for them to come back on their own.
How we help teen athletes process and move forward:
We work with athletes to unpack these moments—not to relive them, but to understand them. To shift the story they tell themselves.
That might sound like:
“You’re allowed to be disappointed and still be proud of showing up.”
“One game doesn’t define your ability or your future.”
“Your worth isn’t up for debate based on a stat line.”
Through intentional mindset coaching, we help them:
Name what’s happening internally when they shut down
Learn how to sit with discomfort without being consumed by it
Develop resilience without bypassing emotion
Rebuild trust in themselves—even when the outcome isn’t what they hoped
Because the goal isn’t to avoid hard games.
It’s to help them meet those moments with clarity, self-compassion, and grounded tools.
No athlete is immune to disappointment. But every athlete can learn to move through it without losing themselves in the process.
If your teen tends to shut down when things go sideways, know this: They’re not broken. They don’t need to be “tougher.” They need support that honors both their drive and their humanity.
That’s what we offer.
Because it’s not just about the game—it’s about helping them walk away with their self-worth intact.
They deserve that. Every time.
Ready to take the first step?
Booking your first appointment is simple. Reach out today.
📞 Call: 403.488.8912
📧 Email: admin@corepsychology.com
📍 Visit Us in Marda Loop, Calgary
