Free worksheet: Values reflection: what matters most to me
Values are the qualities you want to bring to your life and relationships. Knowing them can make hard choices clearer and help you feel more like yourself. This worksheet helps you name your values in your own words, including ones that may resonate from an attachment or neurodivergent perspective, and take one small step toward them.
HOW IT WORKS
- 01Tick the values that feel true to you, not the ones you think you should have
- 02Reflect through two lenses: closeness and safety, and how your mind and body work
- 03Choose your top few, and one small step for each
There are no right answers. Private: you can type right on this page. Nothing you enter is saved or sent.
01 · Before you start
Values are directions, not destinations.
A goal is something you can finish, like booking a trip. A value is a direction you keep choosing, like adventure or curiosity. You never “complete” a value, but you can move toward it in small ways, on good days and hard ones.
A FEW THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND
Yours, not borrowed. Notice the difference between what genuinely matters to you and what you were taught to value, or what others expect.
Needs and values can overlap. Wanting security, predictability or quiet isn’t a weakness. Sometimes what helps you feel steady is exactly what lets you live your other values.
Values can pull against each other. Adventure and security, or independence and closeness, can both be true. The aim isn’t to pick one forever, but to find a balance that fits this season of your life.
02 · What resonates
Tick the values that feel like you.
Go with your first sense. If a word means something slightly different to you, that’s fine. You’ll put it in your own words later.
Connection & closeness
Safety & steadiness
Freedom & growth
Integrity & meaning
Caring for my mind & body
Community & the wider world
03 · Two lenses
Look a little deeper.
Answer whichever questions feel useful. Skip any that don’t fit.
Through an attachment lens
Our early and important relationships shape what helps us feel safe and close. Many people find values like security, warmth, affection, reliability or being known feel especially important.
Through a neurodivergent lens
If you’re autistic, have ADHD or otherwise think and sense the world differently, some values may be shaped by how your brain and body work. Values like honesty, fairness, predictability, deep interests, autonomy, sensory comfort or freedom to be yourself can be central, and may have been overlooked or discouraged by others.
04 · My core values
Narrow it down to a few.
Look back at what you ticked. Choose up to five that feel most important right now, and describe each one in your own words.
How I’ve been living them lately
For each value, from 0 (not at all) to 10 (very much), how much have my actions matched it over the past few weeks? This is information, not a grade.
05 · Small steps
One small step toward each value.
Keep steps small enough to do on a low-energy day. Specific plans tend to work better: “When ___ happens, I will ___.”
WHEN YOU MISS A STEP
Values aren’t rules you can fail. If a step doesn’t happen, get curious instead of critical: what got in the way, and what would make it a little easier next time? Then choose your direction again.
This is an original worksheet created by Core Psychology. It draws on the following ideas, credited with thanks: values as chosen life directions in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (Hayes, Strosahl & Wilson, 2012, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, 2nd ed.; Wilson, Sandoz, Kitchens & Roberts, 2010, The Psychological Record); attachment theory and adult attachment (Bowlby, 1969, Attachment and Loss; Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016, Attachment in Adulthood, 2nd ed.); neurodiversity-affirming perspectives (Pellicano & den Houting, 2022, Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry); and specific “when, then” plans (Gollwitzer, 1999, American Psychologist). The values lists and questions are our own. Core Psychology is not affiliated with or endorsed by these authors.
Exploring what matters is good work to do with support.
If you feel pulled between what you value and how you’re living, or you’re unsure what you value after years of meeting others’ expectations, therapy can be a steady place to explore it. You’re welcome to bring this worksheet to your first session.
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