Free couples resource · Edition 1: Conversation starters for new couples

Early on, there’s so much to learn about each other: the stories, hopes and habits that make each of you who you are. These questions help you go beyond everyday small talk, at a pace that feels comfortable for you both.

START TALKING

HOW IT WORKS

  1. 01Pick a section, or choose one or two questions that catch your eye
  2. 02Take turns answering, and get curious about each other’s answers
  3. 03Tick the questions you’ve explored, and come back for more another time

Made for couples in the first year or two of dating, or anyone getting to know each other more deeply. Private: nothing you tick or type is saved or sent.

Before you start

Curiosity over correctness.

There are no right answers here, and no need to get through every question. One good conversation is worth more than a long list.

A FEW GROUND RULES

Either of you can pass. Some questions may feel too big for right now. “Can we come back to that one?” is always okay.

Listen to understand. Ask a follow-up question before sharing your own view. Try “Tell me more about that.”

Keep it light enough. If a question opens up something painful or a disagreement starts to heat up, pause, take a break, and come back when you both feel ready.

Want to listen even more deeply? Try our Listening to understand worksheet. Looking for the other edition? See Edition 2: for seasoned couples.

01 · Our stories

Where we each come from.

02 · Everyday life

How we each like to live.

03 · Care & affection

What helps each of us feel cared for.

04 · Hopes & values

What matters to each of us.

05 · Disagreeing & repair

How we handle the hard moments.

06 · Fun & us

Building our own story.

These are original questions written by Core Psychology. They are informed by research suggesting that gradually deepening, back-and-forth sharing can build closeness (Aron, Melinat, Aron, Vallone & Bator, 1997, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin), and by couples research on continuing to learn about each other’s inner world, turning toward each other’s bids for connection, and repairing after conflict (Gottman & Silver, 1999, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; Gottman, Coan, Carrère & Swanson, 1998, Journal of Marriage and the Family). Core Psychology is not affiliated with or endorsed by these authors or their organizations.

Please note: This resource is for education and connection only. It is not an assessment of your relationship and is not a substitute for counselling or other care from a qualified professional. Using it does not create a therapeutic relationship with Core Psychology. If you’re in crisis, call or text 988 any time, or call 911. If you feel unsafe in your relationship, Alberta’s Family Violence Info Line is available any time at 310-1818. © 2026 Core Psychology. You’re welcome to print and share these questions for personal or clinical use with credit to Core Psychology; please don’t sell or adapt them without permission.

Building a strong foundation, together.

Counselling isn’t only for when things go wrong. Many couples find it helpful early on, to understand each other’s histories, learn to handle disagreements well, and talk through big decisions. You’re welcome to bring these questions to your first session.

BOOK A FREE CONSULTATIONPremarital counselling

Call or text 403.488.8912 · info@corepsychology.com
Monday to Friday, 9am to 7pm · Saturday, 9am to 3pm

If you’re in crisis, call or text 988, or call 911.