Free couples worksheet: Our shared future: dreaming and planning the life you want together
Many couples put more planning into a holiday than into the life they hope to build together. This worksheet gives you each space to dream on your own first, then bring those dreams together into a shared picture of your future, one area of life at a time.
HOW IT WORKS
- 01Each of you dreams on your own first, without comparing
- 02Share your dreams and look for where they overlap
- 03Map out your shared picture and a few first steps
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If a conversation with your partner ever feels unsafe, or you feel afraid of them, please set this guide aside and reach out for support. Alberta’s Family Violence Info Line is available any time at 310-1818. If you’re in danger, call 911. For mental health crisis support, call or text 988.
01 · Before you start
Dream first, plan later.
There are no wrong answers here. Let yourselves imagine freely before you think about what’s realistic. Differences are normal, and they often show you what matters most to each of you.
HOW TO DREAM TOGETHER
Dream on your own first. Fill in your own column before you look at your partner’s.
Be curious, not corrective. Ask “What draws you to that?” before you respond.
Look for the dream behind the detail. A bigger house might really be about room for family, or about feeling secure.
Go a few areas at a time. This works best over a few relaxed conversations, not one long one.
02 · Everyday life
How you want to spend your days.
Time together
How often do I want time that’s just ours? What does a great evening or weekend together look like to me? Which rituals do I want us to keep or create?
Time apart
How much time on my own, or with my own interests, helps me feel like myself? What would I love to do just for me? How can we support each other’s independence?
Social time
Who do I want in our life? How often do I want to see friends, together and on our own? Do I picture a full calendar or a quieter one?
Time with family
How involved do I hope our families will be? How do I want to spend holidays and special occasions? What kind of family time do I picture for us?
03 · The bigger picture
The life you’re building.
The home we hope to live in
Where do I picture us living: a city, a small town, somewhere quieter? What does our home look and feel like? What would make it feel like ours?
Travel
Where would I love to go, together or on my own? Do I picture big trips, weekend getaways or adventures close to home? How often?
Finances
What do I hope money makes possible for us? What does feeling financially secure look like to me? What are we saving toward, and how do I picture us making money decisions together?
04 · The heart of it
How you want it to feel.
How we want to feel
When I picture us at our best, what words come to mind (calm, playful, close, supported)? How do I want to feel in our relationship day to day? What helps me feel that way?
Communication
How do I want us to talk about hard things? How do I like to be checked in with, appreciated or comforted? What would help us both feel heard?
05 · See it, then map it
Your shared future, on paper.
Take a minute to picture an ordinary day in your life together a few years from now: where you wake up, how you spend the day, how you feel. Then write it down together.
This worksheet draws on research on shared meaning and honouring each partner’s life dreams (Gottman & Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, rev. ed., 2015) and on understanding the dreams that sit beneath recurring disagreements (Gottman, The Marriage Clinic, 1999). It is not a compatibility test and can’t predict how a relationship will go.
Building a shared future is easier with support.
If your dreams pull in different directions, or the same conversation keeps getting stuck, couples counselling can help you both feel heard and find a way forward together. You’re welcome to bring this worksheet to a session.
Call or text 403.488.8912 · info@corepsychology.com
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