Life is full of transitions: starting university, a new job, moving cities, becoming a parent, a breakup, retirement, an empty nest or the loss of someone you love. Even changes we choose and look forward to can bring stress, uncertainty and a sense of loss.
Why Transitions Can Be Hard
Transitions often change our routines, relationships, roles and sense of identity all at once. Counselling researcher Nancy Schlossberg described how the way we cope with a transition depends on the situation itself, our personal resources, the support around us and the strategies we use (Schlossberg, 1981). That helps explain why the same change can feel manageable for one person and overwhelming for another.
Common Feelings During Change
Excitement mixed with anxiety
Grief for what’s ending, even when the change is positive
Uncertainty about who you are now
Feeling unmotivated or stuck
Loneliness, especially after a move or a loss
People Are Often More Resilient Than They Expect
Research on loss and adversity suggests that many people show resilience, adjusting over time and continuing to function well even after difficult events (Bonanno, 2004). That doesn’t mean change is easy. It means that, with time and support, most of us find our footing.
Ways to Navigate Change
Name what you’re losing and gaining. Acknowledging both can make the transition feel more balanced.
Keep some anchors. Familiar routines, like a morning walk or regular call with a friend, can provide stability.
Reach out. Support from others makes a real difference during times of change.
Reconnect with your values. Ask, “What matters to me in this new chapter?” Our values reflection worksheet can help.
Be patient. Adjustment takes time, often longer than we expect.
When to Reach Out for Support
If a transition is leaving you feeling stuck, anxious, low or unlike yourself for a long period, counselling can help you process the change and move forward with more clarity. Learn more on our life transitions counselling page.
References
Bonanno, G. A. (2004). Loss, trauma, and human resilience: Have we underestimated the human capacity to thrive after extremely aversive events? American Psychologist, 59(1), 20-28.
Schlossberg, N. K. (1981). A model for analyzing human adaptation to transition. The Counseling Psychologist, 9(2), 2-18.
How Core Psychology Can Help
At Core Psychology, our clinicians offer life transitions counselling, individual therapy and anxiety therapy, in person in Marda Loop, Calgary, and online across Alberta.
We offer a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation to answer your questions and help you find the right fit. You can also reach us at info@corepsychology.com.
If you’re in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 988 any time, or call 911.
This article is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional assessment or therapy.
